


The Disarming

by grayseeker



Category: The Transformers (Cartoon Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: BDSM, Bondage, Dom/sub, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Lovers, Fanart, Gun Kink, Light Sadism, M/M, Sticky Sexual Interfacing, Transformers Spark Bonds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-29
Updated: 2018-07-17
Packaged: 2019-05-27 10:41:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15022853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grayseeker/pseuds/grayseeker
Summary: Starscream maintained his rhythm with care, watching every flicker of expression on Skyfire's face. His own pectorals tightened every time he ground back, as if they, too, bore the imprint of the hooks.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is an excerpt from my story, [Invisible Scars](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10858164/chapters/24113538). Why post it as an excerpt? Short answer: I want you to read Invisible Scars! For a longer explanation, check the end notes. Many thanks, as always, to my wonderful betas [Biting_Moopie](http://archiveofourown.org/users/biting_moopie/pseuds/biting_moopie) and [Dark Star of Chaos](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkDecepticon/pseuds/Dark%20Star%20Of%20Chaos), and additional thanks to the amazingly talented [Taiyari](http://taiyari.tumblr.com/) for providing the gorgeous illustration.

After tying the last knot, Starscream sank back on his heel-thrusters, inspecting his handiwork. "Comfy?"

Skyfire cast a glance down the length of his bound frame. "Am I supposed to be?"

He was on his back, holding his knees to his chest. A set of grappling cables bound his wrists to the backs of his knees, and the hooks at the end of each cable were snagged into his pectoral slats. Starscream gave one of the cables a firm tug, exerting pressure on the sensitive slat and making Skyfire groan.

"No insolence, please," he said. "Just answer the question."

"Not… particularly," Skyfire admitted with a pained smile. "Not that I'd ask you to change anything."

His tone was light, but Starscream didn't like the clench of his jaw. Sure enough, when he probed their bond he found an area of blankness, like a sparkling's picture-puzzle with a piece missing. Skyfire was hiding something. Well, slag to that.

"Red dwarf," Starscream said, yanking the quick-release knots. The bindings dropped away, and Skyfire's optics flew wide with surprise.

"What?" Skyfire asked, sitting up.

"You're lying. Don't think I can't tell. Even if you weren't clenching your jaw as if you were trying to bite through a titanium girder, I can sense it through the bond. So, out with it! Where am I hurting you?"

"It's nothing," Skyfire replied. "My hips just get stiff if I've been in the same position for a while. They're usually sore when I wake from recharge, but it fades once I'm up and moving." He paused. "Are you seriously lecturing me about hiding pain?"

Starscream shoved him on his back. "We're in a scene," he snapped, leaning over him. "If you want this, I require honesty. So: do you?"

"Want this?" Skyfire licked his lips as an image of the two of them entwined in the Decepticon brig filtered through the bond. "Frag yes."

"Well, that's encouraging." Starscream let his hands drift over Skyfire's midriff, pressing here and there as he searched for hidden paths of tension. He paused at Skyfire's hips. "If we _are_ doing this, then I'm specifying a new rule: no bravery." Off Skyfire's questioning look, Starscream released his hips and leaned over him again. "I want screams or a safeword. None of _this_." He pulled his features into what he hoped was a credible imitation of Skyfire's 'brave' face. "Got that?"

Skyfire nodded. "No bravery. Got it."

"Outstanding." Starscream slung a leg over him, grinding his stiff codpiece against Skyfire's hip. "Begging and pleading are also acceptable. In fact," he nipped Skyfire's neck, "I encourage them."

Skyfire shuddered. "Yes… oh, please…"

Starscream silenced him with a kiss. "Patience." He knelt between Skyfire's thighs, ghosting his palms over his chest. He paused at the hooks, checking to make sure they weren't digging into anything sensitive, then resumed his downward journey. His hands came to rest on the two scarlet Ls that flanked Skyfire's codpiece. "Tell me if this hurts," he said as he shifted his weight forward, pressing Skyfire's hips into the berth-pad. 

Skyfire caught his vents. "Y… no," he replied harshly. "It's… no, don't stop," he added as Starscream withdrew the pressure. "More. Please."

"Pleading already?" Starscream hummed as he rocked forward, testing Skyfire's range of motion. When he found the edges of resistance, he began to work into them with a slow, rhythmic press and release. "Breathe with me," he ordered. "Exvent when I rock up, intake when I come down."

Skyfire nodded. "Huh—how'd you learn to do this?" he asked, matching Starscream's ventilations.

"War," Starscream replied, bringing more of his body-weight into the movement as they found their rhythm. "If you damage the same area often enough, you start getting creative." The throbbing imprint of Megaton's hand at the back of his neck served as a reminder that that wasn't quite true, but it was close to the truth as he cared to get. 

"Whoever taught you, I owe them."

Starscream managed a curt nod. "Tell me how this feels," he said, dragging his thumbs along the seam between Skyfire's waist and his pelvis. 

"That's… oh, that _is_ good." Skyfire arched his midriff, offering greater access. "Around the sides, too."

"Like this?" Starscream asked, burrowing his thumbs into the gaps where Skyfire's pelvic array met his fuselage. 

"Yes… oh, frag." Skyfire's ventilations deepened into groans as the stiffness began to melt. "What I meant," he added softly, "is that I'm glad someone was there to take care of you when I couldn't be."

"You're not even jealous?"

"No. If it was someone you fragged, I'm glad there was more to the relationship than just sex."

So _much_ more, Starscream thought. A bitter taste rose in his throat as he recalled his most recent encounter with Megatron, who knew all his weaknesses and had wrung a confession from him with the merest, gentlest of touches.

" _Just_ sex?" Starscream echoed, focusing on his task to avoid Skyfire's gaze. "You make it sound like that would be a bad thing."

"Hunhn…not at all," Skyfire said, visibly struggling to form words. "Sex has its own kind of… ah!" He broke off as Starscream curled his hand over his codpiece and squeezed, dragging out a helpless moan. "Its own kind of magic," he finished raggedly.

"I don't believe in magic," Starscream replied—a fact of which he was ever more certain, given his recent fever-dream encounter with a dragon and a supposed wizard. While that had obviously been a side-effect of energon deprivation, he had to admit there was something about the way Skyfire's body was opening to his touch that seemed, for lack of a better word, miraculous. If there was any true magic in the universe, this had to be it. 

"I believe in this," he whispered, and Skyfire responded with a tremulous sigh.

Starscream worked without hurry, making his way around Skyfire's hips and upper thighs. When he finally arrived at the juncture where Skyfire's thighs met his groin, Skyfire's knees rose as if by instinct. Starscream took hold of them and rocked upward in a slow, rhythmic wave, testing for areas of tension. There were none. Skyfire's hips moved effortlessly now, the joints gliding smoothly in their sockets. "I did this to you last night," he said, voicing a worry that had been nagging him. "Did it hurt then?"

"No. I'd been moving around all day, and…" Skyfire paused, his half-shuttered gaze sweeping meaningfully down the length of Starscream's frame, "I was already warmed up."

"And would you say you're warmed up now?"

Skyfire's mouth curled in a lazy smile. "I would, but feel free to run your own tests."

"I might have to." Starscream leaned up to take his mouth, scraping his fangs over the full bottom lip. Skyfire opened with a sigh, a quiver running the length of his frame as his long thighs wrapped around Starscream and pulled him close. Their glossae met in a playful duel, and Starscream was seized by the urge to just _take_ Skyfire, here and now. But that wasn't what either of them needed. He released Skyfire's mouth and rocked back to kneel between his legs. 

"Hips in the air," he ordered. When Skyfire obeyed, Starscream slipped a roll-pillow beneath them. This tilted Skyfire's hips upward, which served the dual purpose of making the binding position more comfortable while exposing Skyfire's crotch for Starscream's viewing pleasure. Among other pleasures, of course.

"Grab the backs of your knees."

Skyfire did, drawing his knees nearly to his shoulders.

"No need to show off," Starscream added, catching hold of them and drawing them back up so that Skyfire's thighs were at a ninety-degree angle to his torso. "This will do nicely," he said, gliding a hand down the inner surface of a gleaming thigh to probe the edges of Skyfire's valve panel. Skyfire made a soft, breathy sound, and Starscream smiled appreciatively when his fingers encountered slick dew. 

"Preliminary tests show promising results," he said, holding up his wet fingers for Skyfire to see. "And I must say, you make quite a sight like this with your pedes in the air, all wet and…" He drew his hand up to curl possessively over Skyfire's codpiece. "Yes, and _hard_ , too." He squeezed the shielded length, relishing the lush heat and delicious tightness beneath his palm. "Well done. And you remembered our rule: panels stay closed until otherwise instructed."

A shiver raced through Skyfire's frame. "How could I forget?" His voice was low, breathy and… _young_. So achingly young, as if their long separation had never happened, and he sounded so undone, already. Keeping him balanced on his edge would be the purest of pleasures. Starscream took up one of the grappling cables. He ran it through his hands, enjoying its sinuous weight in his palms and the way the hooks glittered in the uncertain light. He'd used these cables in battle from time to time, the most recent occasion being when he and his trine had stolen the human-built Ninja robot, Nightbird, but that wasn't the use for which he'd originally forged them. He'd made them for _this_. 

Starscream checked the hook to make sure its sharp points were in no danger of damaging Skyfire's pectoral slats, then drew the cable tight. Skyfire gasped, his chest rising in a pretty arch as he tried to relieve the sudden pressure. Starscream eased the tension just enough for him to relax again, then wrapped the cable around Skyfire's opposing wrist and knee. 

He repeated the same process on the other side, connecting each of Skyfire's hooked pectorals to the opposite knee, so the dark cables formed a dramatic 'X' across his pale midriff. Starscream then looped a cable under each of Skyfire's pedes and wound them back up to his knees. This created stirrups, which would provide additional support for Skyfire's legs. Starscream moved Skyfire's knees back and forth, testing the tension. Once he was satisfied, he finished the bindings with the same quick-release knots he'd used earlier.

"Just look at you." Starscream slung a leg over Skyfire's chest, using his knees to pry Skyfire's upper arms away from his sides. This put pressure on Skyfire's bound wrists, forcing his legs wider apart. "All tied down, open for anything I might decide to do. And I could do anything." He rocked his hips against the crossed cables and pulling them tight. "You do _know_ that, don't you?"

Skyfire groaned, his optics blazing a shade whiter. "I do." His voice was a rough whisper, and Starscream didn't miss how his fevered gaze traveled the length of him, settling at his groin as he added, "I am at your mercy."

"How unfortunate for you," Starscream said, letting his hands drift over Skyfire's chest. He cupped the hooks, enjoying their pinprick sharpness against his palms. "As I'm sure you're aware, we Decepticons aren't known for mercy." 

He dipped his thumbs between Skyfire's pectoral slats to stroke the sensitive inner surfaces, making him shiver, then rolled his hips back, yanking the hooks tight. Skyfire threw his head back, his cry collapsing into breathy whimpers as Starscream continued stroking his pectorals in time with the grind of his hips.

"Maybe it's time I introduced you to more of our ways. The finer points of protocol, you might say."

"Finer… points?" Skyfire's tone was rough.

"Indeed," Starscream said as he continued his slow gyrations. "Perhaps you could remind me of what we've established so far."

"You… don't submit," Skyfire rasped. "You take the p-penetrative role in s-sex, and your valve is—ah! Off limits."

" _Very_ good," Starscream said, easing off the cables. "Anything else?"

Skyfire's brow-ridges drew into a frown as he visibly struggled to recall the information. "A higher-ranking officer c-can accept oral servicing to his spike by a lower-ranking one," he said at last, "or he can touch the valve of a lower-ranking officer, but not the other way."

"Excellent! You _were_ paying attention when we talked about this. But now for something we haven't covered." Starscream rose, abandoning the cables, and draped a leg over Skyfire's face. "Kiss me, thrall!"

Skyfire tensed. For a moment, Starscream wondered if he'd gone too far by using one of Dirge's favored terms of abuse, but then a pulse of hope, mingled with desire, filtering through their bond. "This is… allowed?" Skyfire's tone was that of a starving mech trying to decide if a proffered energon cube was actually real.

Starscream smirked. "I gave you an order, didn't I?"

"Yes, but—"

Starscream pressed his shielded crotch against Skyfire's mouth. "As your superior officer, I command you to clean my panels! And they'd better sparkle, or there _will_ be consequences."

Not that Starscream had thought of any consequences just yet, but he doubted he'd need any. He didn't. Skyfire made a small, hungry sound as he turned his head to the side, his lips grazing Starscream's inner thigh.

"Your scent," he whispered, scattering kisses. "So good, so…" His next words were lost in a hum of pleasure as his lips made contact with Starscream's valve panel. "You're so wet. I'm really allowed taste you?"

Starscream grasped Skyfire by his sensor-horns and ground his crotch into his face. "Lick it up, lackey! Suck it like the slave you are."

Skyfire quivered beneath him, and Starscream stifled a groan as a warm, slick glossa traced the edges of his panel, obediently licking up his juices. 

"Make sure you get it _all_ ," he ordered—and then, in a lower voice, added, "You didn't imagine _this_ would be protocol, did you?"

"Hnnn…no," came the muffled reply. "H… _how_?"

"You mean, how is it protocol?"

Skyfire's affirmative was a gust of warm air between Starscream's thighs.

"It's—hunh!—humiliating," Starscream managed, his voice abandoning him as hot, delicious tingles spread throughout his lower frame, "for a sub-subordinate to do this for a superior officer."

Skyfire paused. "I'm supposed to find this humiliating?"

"Y…yes! If you can manage that?"

"Hmnnn… I'll do my best," Skyfire murmured, resuming his licks and kisses. "This's… yes. Terribly degrading."

"Ex…cellent. Yes, I'm—glad you're t-taking the proper attitu—ah! Oh, Sky…"

Skyfire growled, sending vibrations pulsing through Starscream's array. It was almost too much, and Starscream had to fight a nearly overwhelming desire to unshield himself. It would be so easy to give in, to throw protocol to the wind and ride Skyfire's mouth to the brink of oblivion. Perhaps by morning, he'd forget all about it. Or perhaps he wouldn't.

The unseen hand at the back of his neck tightened. _Go on_ , Megatron's voice whispered. _Show us what you're really made of._

"No!" Starscream levered himself off Skyfire's face, then realized, belatedly, that he'd spoken aloud. "No more for _you_ ," he amended, brushing a thumb across Skyfire's glistening mouth. "I think you're enjoying your punishment far too much." 

"Guilty," Skyfire murmured, kissing his thumb. 

Starscream squelched a desperate urge to kiss _him_ , and returned, instead, to straddling his chest. As he sank his weight back on the cables, it occurred to him that he wasn't traversing Skyfire's edges so much as his own.

"Feel how heavy I am?" he asked, dipping his hips in a slow grind. 

Skyfire nodded, biting his lips.

"That's the weight of military-grade armor reinforcements. Every Decepticon has them. Your Auto-buddies probably do, too. You should ask."

Skyfire opened his mouth as if to say something, but Starscream clamped a hand over it. 

"No words," he ordered. "Just feel."

Skyfire subsided with a whimper and Starscream continued to roll his hips, making the cables—and Skyfire—groan. He wasn't _terribly_ heavy, of course. No flier could afford to be, but he was heavier than Skyfire would remember. He maintained his rhythm with care, watching every flicker of expression on Skyfire's face. Every time he ground back, his own pectorals tightened as if they, too, bore the imprint of the hooks. It was a dull, sweet ache that carved a path of flame straight to his groin, hardening his spike to a new, painful tightness within its housing.

"I mentioned some new toys," Starscream said after a while. "Would you like to see some of them?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an excerpt from my story [Invisible Scars](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10858164/chapters/24113538). Why post an excerpt? Because I want you to read Invisible Scars! 
> 
> It might just change how you think about love. 
> 
> It's a tale of two people who've become strangers, even enemies, finding their way back to each other.
> 
> Of how pain can be transformed into passion. 
> 
> Of how a broken spirit can learn to love again, forgive himself, and know that he is capable of healing. 
> 
> It's a story of the restoration of love.
> 
> If you enjoyed this part of the story, click [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10858164/chapters/33253506) to continue reading, or [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10858164/chapters/24113538) to read Invisible Scars from the beginning.


	2. Chapter 2

"P…please." Skyfire's voice was rough. His optics were edged in white, the corners of his lips glazed with Starscream's juices. He looked beautiful. Starscream, finally trusting himself, rocked forward on his hands and knees to brush a kiss to Skyfire's proud helm crest. 

"As you wish," he said with a nip to Skyfire's audial, then raised himself again, settling his hips at a level that would maintain pressure on the hooks without causing outright pain. "We do, of course, have other standard modifications. Observe." He cupped one of his own throbbing pectorals and released a hidden catch with a flick of his thumb. The panel opened, and Skyfire caught his vents.

"What… what are _those_?" 

"What?" Starscream asked, curling his fingers around the nosecone of one of the heat-seeking missiles. "Aren't these what you expected to see?"

"But what about your turbines?" Skyfire asked, distress bleeding into his field.

"Oh, they're still here," Starscream assured him, casually extending the missiles forward in their cradles. He couldn't help being amused by Skyfire's horrified expression. "These babies are deployable from beneath my wings in jet form." He began to unclip them one by one, stacking them in a tidy pyramid next to the berth-pad. "In root mode, they do a subspace-swap with my turbines. Every Seeker has a set," he added, pausing to run a finger lovingly along the barrel of one as he set it down, "even Dirge."

" _Even_ Dirge?" Skyfire asked, curiosity seeping in to replace his alarm. "Why even?" 

"Dirge is a priest," Starscream told him. "He belongs to a sect that doesn't approve of bodily modifications. But even he has accepted it, as a necessity of war."

"A priest," Skyfire echoed, frowning as if the concept required the rearranging of some mental furniture in order to make it fit. "I wouldn't have guessed that. It seems…"

"…Like something you wouldn't expect from a Decepticon?" 

"Exactly."

"He's a death-priest," Starscream said as he opened his other turbine casing and began unloading that one as well, forming a second pyramid of missiles on the opposite side of the berth-pad. "He takes care of funerary rites for our fallen. There's a lot you don't know about us, Sky."

"I'm… starting to see that," Skyfire replied, watching him work.

"You've seen nothing yet." Starscream set the last missile in place and arched back, bracing his wings against Skyfire's raised knees. The cables creaked ominously, making Skyfire wince, though his gaze remained fixed on Starscream's chest. As well it might. With the missiles gone, Starscream was now able to extend his engine turbines. They slid forward in their housings until their gleaming, cone-shaped hubs protruded into the cool air. Starscream grazed his knuckles against one of the tips, and grinned at the strangled noise Skyfire made.

"I didn't quite catch that," Starscream said, rolling his hips against the cables. "Is something wrong? Am I… _hurting_ you?"

"N…unhn…yes, but—ah!"

Skyfire's speech dissolved to incoherent noises as Starscream continued toying with the hub while his other hand slipped down his fuselage to cradle his groin. He tilted his hips forward, granting Skyfire an unobstructed view of his crotch, and then—his gaze locked with Skyfire's—slipped two fingers between his legs. 

"Hm," he said as he ran his fingers around the edges of his valve casing, "it seems you've done a rather shoddy job of cleaning me up." He raised his fingers to the light, letting Skyfire get a look at the slickness that now coated them. "I wonder how I should punish you?" 

Skyfire's groan was a delicious weight on his senses. "Please," he said, his heated gaze a physical caress as it slid up the length of Starscream's frame. "I'll accept any punishment."

"Really?" Starscream dipped his hips in another slow grind. "You should be more careful what you ask for. But maybe, instead…" he smeared each of the hubs with his own nectar and leaned forward so that his chest was poised just above Skyfire's face "…I'll give you a chance to atone. Care for a taste?"

"If… if it's permitted," Skyfire said huskily. "I thought you said turbines were off-limits."

"I may have oversimplified," Starscream replied. "Protocol doesn't specifically address flier frames, so turbines, ailerons, and the like are, shall we say… a gray area."

Skyfire's glossa darted out to lick his lips. "Then… I can suck your hubs?" He strained upward, but Starscream drew himself beyond reach. 

"Not so fast," he said, giving the turbine a slow spin. "You do realize that if I were to turn these fans on, I'd shred your face."

Skyfire's throat tightened. "Yes."

"And isn't that what you'd expect from a Decepticon?"

"I don't know," Skyfire replied. "I know _you_ wouldn't."

Starscream activated the turbine and angled it near Skyfire's face, letting him feel the wind from it. "How can you be so sure?"

"Because I know _you_ ," Skyfire said, his gaze never wavering from Starscream's. "I see you as you are." He paused, a crooked smile raising the corner of his mouth. "If I'm really allowed to do this, then bring them—"

Starscream didn't let him finish. He thrust the turbine-hub against Skyfire's lips, deactivating the fan in the nick of time. Skyfire took it without so much as flinching—and what the frag was _that_ about? How could he be so trusting? But then a low, pleasured growl vibrated in Skyfire's throat as he enveloped the sensitive cone in delicious wet heat, and Starscream canceled all further thought.

Turbine-play was delicate work, involving a high level of trust on both sides. The fan-blades, sharp as they were, could also be easily bent or broken, a painful injury that could ground a flier for orns. This by itself had been reason enough for Starscream to declare his turbines off-limits to nearly all the lovers he'd had throughout the war. Megatron was an exception, as he was for most things, but it had been a long time indeed since their encounters had strayed beyond the basics of a simple frag. Not that there was anything _wrong_ with a simple frag, but— 

"Aaah, Sky…"

"Mmmm," Skyfire replied, his mouth full. His glossa was circling the hub in languid swirls, licking up every last trace of Starscream's fluid. He drew back and vented warm air over it, stirring the fan-blades to spin lazily while he rubbed his cheek and jaw along the turbine's outer housing. The latter gesture reminded Starscream of Ravage scent-marking Soundwave or the other Cassettes when he was feeling territorial. Skyfire didn't have scent-pits on his jaws the way Ravage did, but Starscream suspected the gesture held a similar intent.

"Enjoying yourself?" he asked, bending to nuzzle the crest of Skyfire's helm.

"I am." Skyfire's mouth returned to the hub, teasing its tip with light flicks of his glossa. "You are… mmmhhm…" He sucked the hub all the way back in, tormenting it with light nips and luscious swirls until Starscream broke away with a gasp. 

"Too much?" Skyfire asked.

Starscream nearly said yes. It _was_ too much. It was making his knees quake and bringing his frame alive in ways that felt dangerous, even wrong, but he couldn't stop. "I'll tell you once you've cleaned the second one," he said, pressing his other turbine-hub to Skyfire's lips. Skyfire accepted it with a noise that almost a purr and repeated the same process until Starscream, unable to stand it anymore, seized his sensor-horns and captured his mouth in a bruising kiss. 

He thrust deep, plundering Skyfire's mouth for traces of his own flavor. It was there; elusive and bittersweet, the taste he captured in secret after pleasuring himself. Those were times when he might indulge one of his more illicit fantasies by imagining it was Skyfire's elixir rather than his own. Skyfire's was better. It was sweeter on his glossa, lacking the biting edge of his own. The memory made his spark ache, and he broke the kiss, pushing himself to sit upright. 

Starscream remembered the cables just in time, and slowed his movement so his weight settled onto them gradually. Skyfire's gaze met his, half-shuttered, heated and tender. Could Skyfire read his thoughts? Could he tell how shaken he was, just by looking at him? Surely not. Starscream was keeping the bond shut and his field tucked close to his frame, and he knew better than to let his emotions show on his features. 

He just needed a breath, a beat; a chance for his frame to settle. And for Skyfire to stop _looking_ at him like that, as if he was seeing right through his armor to the very core of his spark. It was unnerving, and it was definitely time he regained control, both of himself and the situation. Starscream reached into his subspace and watched Skyfire's face light with surprise on seeing the item he drew out.

"Where'd you get _that_?" Skyfire asked. "That can't be the same one we—"

"It isn't," Starscream cut in. The chromatizing plasma-gun they'd used on their bonding night had been destroyed along with the home they'd shared, and he didn't want to talk about that. But at least Skyfire's gaze was on the gun, now, and not on him. "This one, I built."

"Why would you build something like that?"

Starscream shrugged. "It's got uses. Numbering specimens, punishing those who disobey…" he thumbed the switch "…and play." The unit buzzed to life, and a nimbus of yellow plasma appeared at its needle-like tip.

"Play," Skyfire repeated, his lips curling into a slow grin. "You mark your, ah… conquests?"

"If they prove themselves worthy."

"I… see," Skyfire said, though Starscream was entirely certain he _didn't_ see. "Are you proposing to mark me?"

"I _am_ going to mark you," Starscream replied. "The only question…" he flicked through the chroma settings "…is what color." He paused on a violent shade of green and waited for Skyfire's look of alarm before moving on. "Purple," he said decisively. "The color of royalty, _and_ —" he tested the gun on his own inner arm and felt the familiar burn of plasma etching the hard layer of chromites that protected his armor "—Decepticons!"

He held his arm up, letting Skyfire see the insignia he'd etched on himself. 

"No," Skyfire said flatly. "Not that."

"Oh, you're no fun." Starscream bent to nuzzle his jaw.

"Starscream—"

"Don't worry, I'll keep it… non-factional." He rose again, settling himself more comfortably on Skyfire's torso, and swept his gaze over his waiting canvas. The broad expanse of chest, the powerful arms, the glorious sweep of wings, all awaiting his attentions. He knew _just_ how he was going to mark them. "You did say you trust me."

"Hmm, that isn't fair."

"Surely you didn't expect me to be _fair_." Starscream was amused by the tacit surrender. 

Skyfire's mouth twitched. "Of course not. What was I thinking?"

"Optics closed," Starscream ordered, covering Skyfire's optics with his free hand. The protective shields caressed his palm as they slid shut, and he couldn't hold himself back from kissing Skyfire. "I'm going to make you _all_ mine," he whispered against Skyfire's lips, reveling in the way Skyfire's fans kicked up a notch at these words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an excerpt from my story [Invisible Scars](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10858164/chapters/24113538). If you enjoyed this part, click [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10858164/chapters/33830937) to continue reading, or [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10858164/chapters/24113538) to read Invisible Scars from the beginning!


	3. Chapter 3

Starscream began etching in the traditional place, just above Skyfire's spark. The plasma-gun buzzed against his palm as he drew curved lines across Skyfire's chest-plate, sweeping them outward like the wings of a bird. Skyfire's vents caught, and though his optics remained closed, as per Starscream's orders, he gave a soft grunt of recognition. 

Starscream smiled. "What did you think I'd mark you with? Blasphemous imprecations against Primus?"

Skyfire gave a snort that was half-chuckle. "I hadn't imagined that specific scenario, no."

Starscream had, in fact, marked Dirge in just such a way the last time they'd played like this. Dirge hadn't seen the humor, and they'd had to re-negotiate certain boundaries as a result. But Skyfire couldn't possibly object to receiving the same marks that he'd once given Starscream. 

Bond-marks, usually temporary, were a tradition on many parts of Cybertron. Seeker trines who chose to bond would receive marks from their clan elders prior to the ceremony. The marks represented the passing-down of clan traditions to a new generation, and were thought—by some—to promote fertility. Altihexians used them too, though in their case it was the dominant member of a bonding pair who would mark his mate. The patterns, carefully chosen, were an expression of both cherishing and of claiming. 

On their bonding night, Skyfire had marked Starscream with wings, stars and swirling nebulae. Rendered in an ancient Altihexian style that was half image and half poem, they represented space and freedom, flight and discovery; all the things Skyfire had wanted for his young mate. Starscream had memorized every line.

It took ingenuity to map the design onto Skyfire's much larger frame. Irritatingly, Starscream also had to modify the design to accommodate the Autobot insignia that Skyfire had seen fit to brand on himself, but the results were worth the effort. The marks would fade in a few days as Skyfire's chromites returned to their default settings, but for now the rich purple almost glowed, a perfect complement to Skyfire's natural colors. He looked stunning.

Starscream carried the pattern onto Skyfire's shoulders and down the length of each arm, pausing whenever a tremor ran through Skyfire's bound form. Being etched hurt, though it wasn't unbearable. It was a burning, tingling sensation that built slowly, not unlike the dull ache created by the pressure of the hooks lodged in Skyfire's pectorals. It was the kind of pain that Skyfire could ride like an updraft, and it was clear that he was, indeed, rising. 

His expression was rapt, his lower lip caught between his dentae. A whimper, sweetly vulnerable, escaped him with each new line he received, and it took all Starscream's willpower to stay focused on what he was doing. When glowing moisture welled from beneath Skyfire's optic shields however, Starscream withdrew the plasma-gun and reached to stroke his face.

"You all right, Sky?"

"Uhhnnh…" Skyfire nuzzled into his palm. "'S'okay," he whispered, tears spilling. "K-keep going."

Starscream reached through the bond. Even with his optics closed, he could trace every line he'd etched. He kissed Skyfire, tasting his tears, and the answering swell of emotion told him that Skyfire really _was_ all right. Starscream resumed his task, regretfully narrowing the bond back to a thread. Tempting as it was to follow Skyfire into the storm of sensations, he couldn't let himself get distracted. That could be dangerous, for both of them.

He moved to one of Skyfire's wings, adorning it with the same complex whorls that had once marked his own. When he reached the aileron, Skyfire loosed a primal sound. His neck arched, optics slipping half-open. Technically, that was breaking the rules, but Starscream couldn't have cared less. Skyfire's optics might be open, but they were unseeing, glazed with moisture. His next cry, when it came, was like the vastness of a stormy sky opening above them. 

This time it took a forced effort of will to keep the bond closed. More than anything, Starscream wanted to tumble into the vortex of sensation and ride it with Skyfire, feeling the plasma-gun's burn lick his frame. He paused, fighting to steady himself, and a gentle nudge came through the bond.

 _Are_ you _all right?_

Starscream caught a shaky ventilation. "Yes." He stroked the upper edge of Skyfire's wing. "Go on, let yourself fly."

Skyfire's parting caress came as a wordless shimmer along the bond. Then he was gone again, rising into the storm as Starscream continued etching the pale expanse of wing. As he worked, he stole glances at Skyfire's face, treasuring each flicker of expression. Skyfire was coming gloriously unmoored beneath his very hands, responding to the plasma-gun's every caress with spark-felt groans. 

Perhaps there _was_ something akin to magic in this. Something akin to sacred, too, though in a far more real and immediate way than whatever duties Dirge might imagine he owed his so-called god. Skyfire was _here_ , real and alive, and had entrusted Starscream with his frame. That was a gift beyond price. It kindled a fierce protectiveness, filling Starscream with the knowledge that Skyfire was _his_. He'd protect him, no matter what. 

When he'd finished etching Skyfire's wings, Starscream settled back to admire his handiwork. The design was incomplete, since Skyfire was lying on his back and Starscream hadn't wanted to break the spell by rolling him. He also hadn't been able to etch Skyfire's legs with the bindings in the way. Even so, the design looked…

"Magnificent," Starscream whispered, sending an image though the bond so Skyfire could 'see' for himself. "What a glorious prize you make." 

Skyfire's chest arched; he uttered a soft keen.

"I must commend your lack of bravery," Starscream added, placing a hand over Skyfire's pounding spark as he bent to whisper in his audial. "You're mine now, Skyfire. _All_ mine."

"Y-yes." Skyfire's voice caught, fresh tears spilling.

"I could take you back with me," Starscream continued, nuzzling his wet cheek. "I could take you bound, just like this. My captive slave, existing to fulfill my every desire. Or I could make you my consort, to rule at my side. I can have you any way I want."

This brought a teary smile. "You can have me…" Skyfire paused, visibly struggling to find words "…however you want… anyway."

"Can I, now?" Starscream nipped Skyfire's chin-guard. Of course he couldn't have Skyfire _any_ way he wanted. Not really. His frame was begging for things he _shouldn't_ want, as it always did he and Skyfire were together. With Skyfire bound, though, helpless to his every whim, he could could at least pretend not to be plagued by unwarriorlike desires. He moved down to Skyfire's neck. " _Any_ way I want?" he persisted, biting his throat cables.

"Yes… oh please…" Skyfire pressed his throat to Starscream's fangs. "Take me. Let me come for you."

Now _there_ was an image that Starscream's entire frame could get on board with. He growled approvingly as he shifted to kneel between Skyfire's thighs. 

"Panels open," he ordered. "Let's see what you've got."

Skyfire obeyed, groaning with relief as his spike leaped from its housing. It looked painfully hard, and Starscream wondered how he'd kept it in check for as long as he had. 

"I really got you going, didn't I?" Starscream murmured, running his finger down the curve of Skyfire's arousal. "What would your Autobot friends think if they could see you now? Rock hard, dripping wet…" his fingers slipped lower, tracing the outline of Skyfire's valve "…and begging me to fuck you."

Skyfire shuddered, hips writhing beseechingly as Starscream spread the lips of his valve. 

"They'd be _scandalized_ ," Starscream murmured. He vented warm air over Skyfire's valve, watching in delight as Skyfire's external node stiffened. It looked hard enough to cut diamonds, and seemed to be imploring him to lean down for a taste. Which was, of course, strictly forbidden. Starscream quashed the notion, sweeping his gaze up the length of Skyfire's glorious, bound, agonizingly aroused form. Skyfire's lips were moving, though nothing emerged but a breathy groan as he arched, parting his legs wider in sheer desperation. 

"There's no point trying to escape," Starscream chided, pretending to misunderstand the gesture. "I _am_ going to have you. But since you seem to need a lesson in patience…" He let the words hang. 

Skyfire's optics blazed whiter. "Unnngh! Starscream—oh _frag_ …"

Starscream bared his fangs in a smile. "We'll get there. But in the meantime…" he leaned over Skyfire, letting their groins brush "…allow me to remind you of who's in charge." Skyfire would never know how much Starscream was including himself in that statement. 

"Please," Skyfire whispered, straining against him in a frantic quest for friction. "Please, please…"

"Hush." Starscream put his hand over Skyfire's optics. "Close your optics like I told you, and keep them that way no matter what. Understood?"

Skyfire stifled a whine. "Yes."

"No matter what," Starscream repeated as he activated one of his rifles. The weapon's harsh reverberation electrified the air around them. Skyfire stiffened. Fear came through the bond as he twisted his helm away from the sound, as if he was trying to escape it.

"Easy," Starscream whispered. He cupped Skyfire's cheek, drew his helm back to center, then replaced his fingers with the rifle's muzzle. Skyfire flinched at the contact. His optic shields fluttered as if he was fighting to keep them closed, and Starscream waited, giving him a chance to think it over.

"Well done," he said at last, when Skyfire didn't pull away or offer a safeword. Starscream could only guess how much self-control that must have taken. He sent Skyfire a pulse of reassurance as he glided the weapon over Skyfire's lips, nose and jaw. The charged tip would produce a cascade of tingling, crawling sensations which were pleasant enough—if you could forget the source. Skyfire didn't seem quite ready to do that. His vents caught, throat cables tightening into hard ridges when Starscream slipped the rifle beneath his chin-guard.

"You can stop this any time," Starscream reminded him. He'd kept the weapon's safety on so it was in no danger of misfiring, but he'd seen far more battle-seasoned mechs than Skyfire quail at this sort of play. 

"Y—yes," Skyfire answered him, shakily. 

"Yes to stopping?"

Skyfire sucked in a gulp of air through his vents. "N…no, I…" He lifted his chin, baring his throat. "I trust you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an excerpt from my story [Invisible Scars](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10858164/chapters/24113538). If you enjoyed this part, click [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10858164/chapters/33830937) to continue reading, or [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10858164/chapters/24113538) to read Invisible Scars from the beginning!


	4. Chapter 4

Starscream withdrew his weapon, breaking its contact with Skyfire's chin long enough for his own arm to stop shaking. This _was_ what he'd needed. A chance to prove to himself that he could be trusted with his own desires. Yet Skyfire, it seemed, trusted him without question. He held very still as Starscream brought the weapon back to his throat, stroking the tense cables, though he released an involuntary gasp when the weapon reached his spark. 

"I know what you're doing," Skyfire whispered.

"Is that a fact?" Starscream circled the spot where his shots had struck home. The scar that remained was a shallow divot in Skyfire's plating, right next to the Autobot insignia. "You should have this repaired."

"Or maybe I should keep it."

"Why?"

"As a reminder."

Starscream gazed at his weapon, the tip of which now rested snugly in the scar. _As if it was made for it._ Fighting a tremor in his own voice, he asked, "A reminder of what?"

"Of what you said yesterday, when we were in the washracks," Skyfire replied. "That this is going to hurt."

And there it was. This was an exorcism, of sorts, and they both knew it. Starscream leaned down to kiss the spot. "I see you're a glutton for punishment."

"I might be," Skyfire replied. 

"Maybe we'll have to test that," Starscream added, kissing his way down Skyfire's chest. "See how much you can handle."

Reaching Skyfire's pectorals, he dipped his glossa between the slats and licked the sensitive inner surfaces. A low moan vibrated against his lips as Skyfire arched his chest, begging for more. Oh, yes. A glutton indeed. Starscream molded his lips around one of the hooks, dampening it with his oral fluid, and brought the charged rifle-tip near it. A spark leaped between the points of contact, and Skyfire gasped.

"Still think my disciplinary methods are a joking matter?"

"I never said—ahh!" Skyfire broke off as Starscream gave him another jolt. The charge wasn't strong enough to cause actual damage, but it would definitely sting. 

"Maybe it's a point that bears repeating." Starscream dampened a second hook, and a third, repeating the process, then migrated to Skyfire's other side to deliver a few good shocks there. He then cupped his palms over both Skyfire's pectorals, letting his warmth intensify the pleasurable tingles that he knew would follow the pain. 

Skyfire pressed into his hands. "Mmmhm, that feels…"

"Good?" Starscream suggested.

" _You're_ good," Skyfire murmured, his expression dreamy. "So good to me, so…" he trailed off again, as if words were escaping him. 

"Don't get too relaxed," Starscream warned, rocking forward to nuzzle his spark. "We're going to fly even higher."

Normally, he'd be steering a session toward its climax at this point, and his tired frame certainly wanted him to. But what if this was their last chance? Their last time together? The frigid Arctic night from his dream was still chasing him, still snapping at his afterburners like a pack of invisible predators. Starscream wanted to shake them off, if only for a moment. He wanted to make this a night that neither of them would ever forget. 

"Okay," Skyfire whispered, sounding so much, again, like his younger self.

Starscream kissed each of Skyfire's closed optic shields, bringing out his smile. Had they really been _this_ young on the night of the storm? Had Starscream been this young when he'd faced his first battle, or made his first kill?

 _No. Don't think about that._ Starscream pushed the thought aside and slid down Skyfire's frame, trailing his palms as he went. He wanted to let Skyfire know where he was going, and that he'd never leave him alone in the dark, or the cold. Never again. As he settled between Skyfire's legs, he ramped the charge in his rifle down to minimum, and pressed its tip to the base of Skyfire's spike. 

Skyfire tensed. Starscream didn't blame him. With the charge lessened, the rifle would now deliver tingles rather than shocks, but it was still an unsettling place to have a rifle touching you. Starscream held still, giving Skyfire a chance to get used to the sensation. When he felt the big frame relax, he cupped Skyfire's spike-head with his free hand, loving the way it filled his palm. 

"Weapon meets… weapon," he cooed, stroking the rifle-tip up and down Skyfire's rigid length while his fingers massaged the crown. 

Skyfire released a soft, airy sound as he rocked into Starscream's grip. "How… do they compare?" he asked.

"Let's see." Starscream pressed the rifle-barrel alongside Skyfire's thick shaft and gave a snort of mock disappointment. "Hmph. Yours is _still_ bigger."

"I've heard size isn't everything," Skyfire said with a shuddering laugh.

"Perhaps not," Starscream agreed, "but it certainly is… _compelling_."

"I can tell." Skyfire pressed into his touch, acting as if he'd forgotten all about the rifle's proximity to one of his most sensitive areas. Truthfully, Starscream had nearly forgotten about it himself.

Skyfire's size had always fascinated him. Not just the size of his spike, though that was certainly part of it. The memories of that spike inside him were as vivid as if it had been yesterday, but it was more than that. It was also Skyfire's deep chest, his powerful thighs, his massive arms. Those arms could enfold Starscream, flip him as if he weighed nothing, and pin him helpless beneath Skyfire's weight. Skyfire's body could cover and enclose him, making him the center of their own private universe. 

Starscream missed all that. He missed a time when there would have been no reason not to curl his glossa around Skyfire's crown, no reason not to take him in his mouth. He distracted himself from the thought by wrapping both hands around Skyfire's shaft, aligning his thumbs with the sensitive under-seam. Skyfire got the idea in a hurry. He began thrusting while Starscream simply watched, mesmerized by the sight of the thick shaft pistoning through his hands. 

_Go on_ , Megatron whispered. _We both know what you_ really _want. You fool no one, except yourself._

"Shut up," Starscream hissed. The words were out before he could bite them back, and Skyfire froze, mid-thrust.

"Hm? I didn't—"

"Not you."

Skyfire frowned. "Then—"

"Never mind." Starscream pushed aside the gentle nudge of inquiry that came through their bond. Damn. The last thing he wanted was for Skyfire to guess who he'd been talking to. He needed to refocus both their attention, and fast. He slipped the rifle deeper between Skyfire's legs, and that did the trick. Skyfire stiffened, his body straining both toward and away from the weapon in a single, shuddering motion. 

"Starscream—"

"Shh. Trust me."

Starscream continued to massage Skyfire's spike while using the rifle-tip to trace circles around his valve. He kept his touch feather-light, giving Skyfire a chance to get used to it. Skyfire remained tense, and Starscream couldn't blame him. On one hand, the charged tip would be spreading electric tingles throughout the lower half of Skyfire's frame. On the other, it was a rifle—next to his valve. 

His beautiful, beautiful valve.

"You really are glorious," Starscream murmured, sending images along the bond to show Skyfire how lovely he was. His valve-lips were puffy and slick with dew, his external node poking from between his silvery petals like the bud of some exotic flower. Starscream continued to circle, occasionally taking the rifle-tip onto Skyfire's inner thighs or along the length of his spike. Each time he returned to Skyfire's valve, he came a little closer. Skyfire gradually relaxed, pleasure seeming to win out over fear, and when the rifle finally nudged his swollen lips, they opened like a rose. Starscream's vents caught. 

"Sky."

Skyfire squeezed his optics tighter. His hands, bound to the backs of his knees, clenched in fists as the rifle stroked his array, and he gasped when the weapon circled his external node. Starscream withdrew, spark pounding. The urge to lean down for a taste of that flowing sweetness was overwhelming, but he was stronger than that. He was a Decepticon warrior, master of his own desires. He'd prove it. 

Starscream deactivated the weapon and pressed three of his fingers into a tight wedge, emulating the shape of the rifle's muzzle. Skyfire gave a startled grunt when Starscream nudged them against his entrance, and Starscream eased back, half-expecting a safeword. What he got instead was a slight rise of Skyfire's hips, followed by a gentle, answering bump against the tips of his fingers. An invitation.

 _Oh, Sky._

Starscream released a vent he hadn't known he was holding. Something inside him melted as he pushed deeper, his attention divided between the gripping heat enclosing his fingers and the look of mingled rapture and terror on Skyfire's face. Starscream knew it wouldn't take long for Skyfire to notice the substitution, but the mere fact that he thought Starscream was using his gun—and was _allowing_ it—was incredible. 

"Sky," he crooned, "oh Sky." Starscream murmured the name over and over, making a chant of it as Skyfire took him deeper. This, he knew, was _real_ power. If Skyfire could trust him this deeply, letting himself be penetrated—or so he believed—with the very weapon Starscream had shot him with, could anything truly be beyond their reach? What was protocol, compared to this? Just words, nothing more. Starscream curled his fingers and Skyfire's optics snapped open, his vents leaving him in a rush that became a shout. 

"Sta—Starscream…!"

"You did so well," Starscream whispered, leaning over Skyfire's quaking form to scatter kisses on his parted lips, his hot cheeks. "You were so brave. I'm so proud of you."

Skyfire's voice hitched with helpless laughter. "I… thought I wasn't… supposed to be b-brave," he stammered, his lips seeking Starscream's. Starscream sank into his fevered kiss, delving with his glossa even as his hand, still inside Skyfire's channel, continued to stroke and explore. His fingers met the slight bulge where Skyfire's transfluid secretory pressed against the forward wall of his valve. It was an exquisite spot, and Starscream knew just how to play it. He teased with the gentle, rolling strokes, the strokes he himself had once loved.

Skyfire gasped into his mouth. "Please, please…"

"Please what?" Starscream asked, nipping his lower lip. "What do you want, Sky?"

A tingle of charge danced over the tips of Starscream's fingers. The bond opened, and he felt the imprint of his own fingers inside Skyfire's channel as Skyfire's inner voice spilled into his mind.

 _You,_ Skyfire sent.

Just that; nothing else. A wild thrill tightened in Starscream's core. He felt the way he did when he was about to leap skyward, trusting his wings to carry him. He wasn't an officer here. He wasn't Megatron's second, or the Decepticon Air Commander. He was freedom. He was power, and he… _wanted._ To give to Skyfire in every possible way, denying him nothing.

 _Fly with you,_ he sent back, pouring admiration, passion and longing through their bond. He kissed his way down Skyfire's chest and wrapped his free hand around his shaft, giving a firm squeeze. Skyfire bucked, his mouth forming a soundless cry as Starscream pumped his length with one hand while his other grasped the heavy crown. Shimmering drops of pre-fluid were leaking from the tip, and Starscream felt dizzy at the sight of them. "Fly with you," he repeated, aloud this time, and sent an image along their bond to show Skyfire what he looked like in this moment, poised on the brink of climax. 

Skyfire responded with a low, anguished sound. _Come,_ he sent, and Starscream took the leap. 

He'd always loved Skyfire's taste. His musky scent, his unique flavor, the weight and shape of him in Starscream's palm. The way Starscream had to stretch his jaw to fit even the tip of Skyfire's length into his mouth. None of that had changed, and for a moment, it was like being in freefall. Skyfire's taste, his texture, his sheer _girth_ overwhelmed Starscream's senses as he took him in his mouth, and for a single spark-beat, he was just this. Desire unleashed, free of constraint. But then Skyfire went rigid.

"Starscream…!"

Skyfire twisted away as if he was trying to free himself. But that didn't make sense. Starscream held on. The bonds made it easy enough to maintain his grip, and this was what he wanted—what they _both_ did.

"Starscream, stop! Red dwarf! Stop!"

At first, the words were jumbled noises in Starscream's audials, devoid of meaning. Then his addled processor registered the safeword, and he froze. Glancing up, he gradually became aware of himself kneeling between Skyfire's legs, his mouth filled with a sweetness that was fast turning to acid.

Skyfire was staring at him, optics wide. "What are you doing?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an excerpt from my story [Invisible Scars](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10858164/chapters/24113538). If you enjoyed this part, click [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10858164/chapters/34566894) to continue reading, or [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10858164/chapters/24113538) to read Invisible Scars from the beginning!


	5. Chapter 5

"What does it _look_ like I'm doing?" Starscream demanded. He was kneeling between Skyfire's legs, still gripping his thick shaft, still tasting him on his glossa. Everything else in his world had tipped sideways. He felt cold inside, and terribly exposed under Skyfire's laser blue gaze.

"I thought you were going to f-frag me." Skyfire's tone was hoarse, and Starscream hated the shocked, almost wounded look Skyfire was giving him. Defensive anger blazed up. He wasn't wrong about this; how could he be?

" _Don't_ tell me you didn't like what I was doing!" 

"Of course I did, but it isn't protocol." Skyfire shifted on the berth-pad as if trying to raise his upper body, but Starscream had done a good job of binding him. He fell back. "You said that a higher-ranking officer can accept oral servicing to his spike by a lower-ranking one, but not the other—"

"I know what it says!"

"Then—"

"You were going to let me stick my gun in your cranny! You seemed fine with that, but _this_ is what you safeword for?"

Skyfire's jaw firmed. "That was protocol. This isn't."

"So now you're some kind of expert? You don't even _like_ protocol."

"I never said that."

"You didn't have to!"

A hard silence fell. Finally, Skyfire sighed. "Okay, you're right. I don't like protocol. I don't see the point, and I hate that it makes you the enemy of your own desires."

"That _is_ the point, dear Skyfire! Desires are to be _mastered!_ That's the mark of a true leader."

"But even a leader has needs," Skyfire countered. "For touch. For intimacy—"

"Needs are irrelevant!" Starscream fought the urge to wrap his arms around himself. "Needs are—"

Terrifying. Overwhelming. Even now, he could feel them surge within him like a storm-tossed ocean, threatening to drag him under. He'd nearly given in. _Would_ have, if Skyfire hadn't pulled him back from the edge. 

"—and the need for safety," Skyfire concluded softly, as if Starscream hadn't interrupted. "I might not like protocol, or understand why it's important to you, but how could you ever feel safe with me if I let you throw it aside just because something feels good?"

"Hmph! You make this sound like an ongoing thing. It's far more likely we'll never see each other again—and, if we do, it'll be as enemies." 

"Then… you're _not_ taking me back as your captive consort?" Skyfire asked, with the flicker of a wry smile.

"I think it's been well established that you wouldn't last a day as a Decepticon."

"True. But then… isn't that all the more reason for us to do this right? And," Skyfire's tone became agonizingly gentle, "all the more reason not to do anything you'll have regrets about."

"So you want to stop?" Starscream asked. His comforting anger had drained, leaving his voice painfully small. 

"Starscream…" 

A pulse of warmth curled around Starscream's spark. When Starscream refused to meet Skyfire's gaze, the pulse became a tug, gentle but insistent. 

"When you started sucking me off, what were you looking for?" Skyfire asked. "What was your desire?"

Starscream gave up and returned his gaze to Skyfire's. "Apart from the obvious?"

"Apart from that, yes," Skyfire said with a smile. "I know you wanted _something_. Can you name it?"

Bathed in soft lantern-glow, Skyfire's marked, bound, exposed frame was a fantasy come to life. He looked the very embodiment of desire.

"A taste," Starscream said at last.

"Of me?"

"Of…" Starscream licked his lips, "…the way things used to be. Something to hold on to."

The invisible touch to his spark became a caress. Starscream found himself leaning toward it like a vine reaching for the sun, and shivered as the warmth enfolded him from within.

"What if I do the tasting for you?" Skyfire asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Through the bond," Skyfire explained. "Like what we're doing now."

A data-packet came through the bond, and when Starscream opened it, his senses were flooded by every sensation Skyfire was experiencing. His plating burned with bond-marks he'd etched on Skyfire; his pectorals throbbed where the grappling hooks were still lodged; his cooling hips ached with renewed stiffness. But beneath all that… hunger. Delicious exposure. Vulnerability. A desire to be thrust into, filled and taken.

"What do you think?" Skyfire asked. "Does anything in protocol forbid that?"

"I…" Starscream shook himself. It took him a moment to grope his way back into his own frame, sorting his own perceptions from Skyfire's. "You mean… if I fragged you, and felt what you're feeling through the bond?"

"Yes."

"No," Starscream admitted at length. "There's nothing to forbid that." Protocol, in fact, made no mention of bonds whatsoever.

"Then… we could do that, then," Skyfire said, his tone hopeful. "You _could_ fly with me."

Starscream stared at Skyfire. Had his seemingly naive mate just turned protocol inside out? With one simple, daring suggestion, he'd made protocol… _theirs._ A rush of excitement shook him as he reached for the quick-release knots.

"Starscream, you're not—"

"Not stopping, no."

"Then why—"

"Because you're starting to hurt again."

Starscream tugged the bonds free and wasted no time in removing the hooks from Skyfire's pectoral slats. As he looped the cables into coils, he realized his hands were shaking. This felt subversive. It felt… wild. As if they'd crossed an invisible barrier into some new, uncharted domain. _Here be dragons,_ he thought as he slung a leg over Skyfire's chest. He grasped Skyfire's audial horns, pinning his head to the berth-pad to make sure he knew who was still in charge.

"Now," he said. "You mentioned something about tasting."

Skyfire's vents caught, optics blazing a shade brighter as he swept his gaze up the length of Starscream's frame. His glossa darted out to moisten swollen lips. "Yes," he said, his voice rough silk. "Please."

"Well then. Since you're asking _nicely_ …" Starscream opened his codpiece.

Skyfire's hands rose, then paused to hover at Starscream's hip level. "May I touch?"

"And you've remembered your manners," Starscream praised, rocking his pelvis forward. "You may, indeed, service me."

"Thank you."

Skyfire's hands closed around Starscream's hips, nearly enfolding them—which was, itself, thrilling. Skyfire could have lifted him without trying. Could have thrown him down, pinned and forced him, but instead Starscream was the one in control. He had all of Skyfire beneath him, all that power at his command.

Hot, tremulous fingers dipped inside Starscream's codpiece. As his sheathed spike quivered to life under Skyfire's touch, the bond sent back impressions of satin heat, of hardening. Starscream sighed as those knowing fingers curled around his girth, and he swelled into Skyfire's palm.

"Starscream."

Another data-packet arrived, unfolding into an image of himself kneeling over Skyfire's face. His spike, front and center in Skyfire's field of vision, took up most of the foreground while the rest of him, sculpted in flickering shadow, was poised above. His wings were hiked in an unconscious gesture of dominance while his bared turbine-hubs jutted forth like a pair of missiles. Skyfire's thoughts were woven throughout the image, each glyph a superlative of beauty, power and desire.

"Want you," Skyfire whispered.

"Then have me." Starscream bumped his half-hard spike against Skyfire's lips. Skyfire opened with a ragged sigh. The bond-image dissolved in melting heat as Starscream felt, from Skyfire's perspective as well as his own, the sensation of his spike filling Skyfire's mouth. A mutual hum of pleasure vibrated between them as he swelled to full hardness, and he shuddered, hips jerking. Skyfire's hands tightened, holding him in stillness.

_Just taste,_ Skyfire said through their link.

It was almost an order, but Starscream could do nothing but obey, his optics falling shut as he sank into the flow of sensation. There was so much to _feel._ His thickness filling Skyfire's mouth, the dense weight of himself, his texture. His musky, hot-metal scent flooding Skyfire's olfactory sensors, and the taste of himself in the torturous swirl of Skyfire's glossa.

"It's… not the same," he said, surprised. "I don't taste like that."

Humor shimmered through the link. _How do_ you _think you taste?_

Starscream recalled the last time he'd stolen a furtive taste of his own juices and returned the data along their bond.

_Bitter,_ Skyfire noted, amusement deepening.

_Yes._

_Well to me, you taste…_

Another flood of sensory data came through. To Skyfire he was tart, not bitter. He tasted like a sharp breath of winter air; bitingly clean, and just… _good._

_So good,_ Skyfire's thought-voice seemed to emphasize, but then Starscream realized the words weren't even being directed at him. Skyfire was lost in his texture and fullness, and it was all… good. _He_ was good; every part of him. Starscream's vocalizer clenched on a whine.

"Sky…"

Skyfire's hands suddenly tightened, jerking him deeper. Starscream pitched forward, nearly losing his balance as Skyfire began to tug and release, fucking his own mouth with Starscream's spike. Starscream could only fall into the rhythm, matching the pace Skyfire demanded.

This was protocol, but in name only. In reality, he was the one surrendering. The fact that it was his spike in Skyfire's mouth made no difference whatsoever, yet the sensations tumbling through the bond were right. He was both the taker and the taken. His mouth was stuffed to bursting, and as the spike pistoned in and out he was tasting the beginnings of his own essence—sharp, distinct—at the back of Skyfire's throat. It was all happening too fast. He was cresting already, with no way of stopping or even slowing himself down.

"Sky!" He grasped the base of his spike and squeezed, hard. "Stop! Right now, or I'll—"

Skyfire stopped. Starscream slumped, spike still buried, and strong hands gripped his waist, supporting him as Skyfire disengaged. "Is that what you were looking for?" Skyfire asked, nuzzling his belly.

"Y…yes." Starscream's voice was a shattered whisper.

A swell of gratification rolled through the bond as Skyfire dusted kisses against Starscream's fuselage. "You can have whatever you want," he whispered as his hands climbed Starscream's sides, gently pulling him down until their optics met. "Anything," he added.

Starscream kissed him. He couldn't help it, though no matter how far he plunged, he found only his own, familiar bitterness. The mysterious elixir Skyfire had shared was accessible only through the bond, though it _was_ there. Skyfire's hands caressed his shoulders and intakes, coaxing him deeper as powerful thighs rose to enclose him in a hot, tight space that felt limitless.

"It's okay," Skyfire whispered, hands cradling his face. "Let yourself fly. I'll be here to catch you."

Starscream heard a sound from himself that he barely recognized. Had he been waiting to hear those words? They were like the answer to a question he hadn't known to ask, and what was more, he believed them. Skyfire had dragged him back from the edge once, and would again, if needed. It was safe here. He _could_ fly. He reached down, pushing Skyfire's thighs apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an excerpt from my story [Invisible Scars](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10858164/chapters/24113538). If you enjoyed this part, click [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10858164/chapters/34566894) to continue reading, or [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10858164/chapters/24113538) to read Invisible Scars from the beginning!


	6. Chapter 6

"I got you worked up, didn't I?" Starscream murmured as his fingers met the hot slickness between Skyfire's legs.

Skyfire pressed into his touch with a breathy groan. Starscream parted his folds and caressed his budding external node, loving the sounds he was making. His pleasure was like an electric current, heavy in the air between them. When Starscream slipped a finger inside, Skyfire threw his helm back, hands clawing at the backs of his knees to pull them wide. Whether he was aware of having just resumed his formerly bound position was beyond guessing, but there was no mistaking what his body was demanding. Starscream mounted him, pressing the head of his spike to the swollen node.

"Ready?" he asked, grinding with gentle hip-circles.

As if he even had to ask. Skyfire's response was a wordless nod, a single glyph shimmering in the bond between them. _Please._

Starscream nudged Skyfire's entrance. The silken folds parted and Skyfire's channel gripped him, pulling him into the tight, drenching heat. His spike gave a warning throb, and he withdrew. "Hm," he said, reaching in his subspace for his trusty mag-ring. "We'll have to take this slower than I thought."

"Got _you_ worked up, did I?" Skyfire asked, a smile dancing behind his gaze as he watched Starscream clip the device to the base of his spike. "I'll take that as a compliment."

"Take it however you want," Starscream replied, draping himself back over Skyfire. The ring molded itself to his girth, exerting pressure where it was needed, and he relaxed as the buildup of charge began to recede. "I certainly plan on taking _you,_ " he added.

"I sure hope so," Skyfire said with a grin, folding his long legs over Starscream's back. He used a heel to nudge Starscream's hips forward, though Starscream needed no such encouragement. He met the rise of Skyfire's hips with an inward push, and they both gasped.

"Slowly, slowly," Starscream crooned, though it was a reminder for himself as much as it was for Skyfire. He wouldn't last long no matter what, but he could pace himself. He pressed forward again, the head of his spike nudging the first caliper ring, and Skyfire caught his vents. A data-packet arrived, opening into an exquisite feeling of being stretched. Starscream's own, empty valve clenched, and he pulled back with a grunt.

"I said _slowly_ ," he admonished.

Skyfire flashed a young, brilliant smile. "Are you saying this is too much for you?"

"I did _not_ say that," Starscream growled. He wanted to silence Skyfire with a kiss, but he couldn't reach that far while he was inside, so he sent the feeling of a kiss instead.

Skyfire's gaze softened. His hands slipped to Starscream's waist, rubbing circles against his sides. "It's okay," he whispered. "What's mine is yours. Always and forever."

As if there was an always, or a forever. Starscream wanted to believe it, though, at least for now. But then Skyfire seized his hips and pulled him through the ring, thus obliterating all trace of rational thought. He let Skyfire set the pace. It was all he _could_ do, with all the incredible sensations that were spilling through the bond. How long had it been since he'd felt _this?_

It wasn't like being taken by Megatron. Typically, Megatron would hilt himself in a single, smooth thrust and then—if he was in a generous mood—pause to let Starscream adjust before setting to work. It wasn't cruel. It was what they both liked. Fast, hard and effective, with no awkward gaps in which either of them had time to think about what he was doing, or with whom.

But this…

This was fragging as he'd forgotten it _could_ be. Skyfire was taking him by slow degrees, letting him feel _everything._ Every clench, every release. The wonderful, wet heat of Skyfire's sheath, the caliper rings greedily molding themselves to his girth, and then also the stretch. The delicious sense of being opened and filled, of being taken, of giving himself over into abandon.

"Frag, Sky…"

"You like that?"

"Oh, frag…" The words were a rasping hiss, and Skyfire's answering groan, which vibrated through his whole frame, made Starscream very grateful for the mag-ring. He'd have spilled by now without it, and he wanted to make this last. Forever, if possible. For both of them. When the third and final set of rings parted, Skyfire's helm fell back, optics slipping closed on a sigh.

"You all right?" Starscream whispered.

A smile broke through as Skyfire let the bond speak, filling Starscream's sensory awareness with incredible sense of holding inside, of being held. "I don't think 'all right' really covers it do you?"

Starscream didn't have an answer for that, so he sent back everything _he_ was feeling in return. Every beat of Skyfire's life-pulse, all around him. Volcanic heat, a wet furnace that gripped him from root to tip. The sense of being held firm and steady, grounded within limitations that didn't confine, but promised a new kind of freedom.

"We can fly now," Starscream said.

It didn't make sense, but Skyfire nodded as if he understood. Starscream rocked his hips in a shallow thrust, and Skyfire rose to meet him. Their gazes locked.

"More," Skyfire said. "Higher."

Starscream pushed again, letting his frame lead with its innate sense of what they both needed. He couldn't reach the top of Skyfire's channel with the mag-ring in place, so he topped each thrust with a roll of his hips, grinding against Skyfire's external node. Skyfire's vents deepened, his optics glazing. His powerful legs squeezed and released, meeting each of Starscream's thrusts with one of his own.

The bond opened into velvet heat. There was a sense of guarding-sheltering-embracing something that was both fleeting and infinitely precious, and it _was_ like flying. It reminded Starscream of their mock-battle above the Valles, of spiraling together through an orange sky. He let that image spill through the bond, and Skyfire reached back to him with answering jolt of vertigo.

_Yes._

The orange sky dissolved, becoming an ocean of stars.

"More," Skyfire whispered again. "Take me there."

Starscream was almost there now, mag-ring or no. His internals were melting into burning incandescence, and he had perhaps a moment, or two, before he spilled. He grasped Skyfire's spike, meaning to pump him over the edge, but Skyfire caught his wrist.

"The ring," Skyfire said. "Take it off. I want to feel you deeper—"

There was no use for it now anyway. Starscream unclipped the ring and it dropped from his spike, landing somewhere on the berth-pad between them. He grasped Skyfire's knees, forcing them apart, then re-angled himself and slammed in as deep as he'd could. The bond told him when he'd struck the ceiling node at the top of his—of Skyfire's—channel.

It was like a supernova. A contained one. An eruption of white-hot lava deep inside his valve, deep inside Skyfire's. He rammed it over and over, his voice making sounds he couldn't identify. Skyfire was making his own music, delicious groans that made Starscream wish they could stay here, inhabiting this one, perfect moment, for the rest of eternity.

But then, inevitably, the collapse. Skyfire bucked, his optics snapping wide as his mouth shaped a frozen cry. His climax ripped through both of them, dragging Starscream over the edge. There was a dazzling release of charge, a spill of hot fluid between them, inside him, and…

"I—I dream," he stammered.

It seemed to be much later, though he was still inside, still anchored in the tight, sweet grip of his lover's body. Strong arms were around him, long legs crossed above his back, and the frame beneath him was burning hot. _Like the surface of a star,_ he thought as he pressed his face to Skyfire's canopy.

"You're a hot blue star and I'm falling… into you—" he broke with a gasp. A hand cradled his jaw, large thumb tracing his lips. He kissed the thumb. It was Skyfire who carefully disengaged them and gathered Starscream into his arms. Starscream pressed his cheek to the hot metal above Skyfire's spark.

To that blue, blue sky. That place of freedom.

When the sobs came, he did nothing to hold them back.

He wasn't an elegant weeper. Not like Skyfire, who could made it seem beautiful. His sobs were ugly, hitching, blubbering things that tore from his body in seismic gasps. All he could do was cling to Skyfire, holding on as best he could as the shudders took him.

"That's it," Skyfire whispered, folding himself around Starscream's frame. "Just let it out, it's okay."

It wasn't. It was the farthest thing _from_ okay, but Starscream couldn't speak. A bottomless ocean of loss had opened inside him. He was kneeling in the frozen darkness, the wind stripping his voice away. He was crushed beneath the wreckage of a Guardian Robot, awaiting death. He was huddled in the ruins of Altihex, gasping broken apologies to a small, graying form.

After a while Skyfire sat up, taking Starscream with him. Starscream jerked with surprise as something soft—a thermal blanket—was draped around him. He hadn't realized he was shivering, but when Skyfire bundled him close the blanket warmed, adjusting to his frame temperature. 

"Why you?" Starscream gulped as Skyfire rocked him. "Why _us?_ What had we done? We hadn't done anything to deserve this, we—frag!" His hands convulsed into fists. "If I'd only _found_ you, if I'd… oh _frag,_ Sky, it's not _fair!"_

"No," Skyfire agreed, his voice catching. "It isn't."

"I t-tried so hard," Starscream went on, his voice a cracked wreck of itself. "I couldn't—"

_I know, love. I know._

Starscream couldn't tell whether Skyfire had spoken aloud or through the bond. It didn't matter. He burrowed, pressing his face to the crook of Skyfire's neck. Skyfire's life-pulse was there, warm and alive; his frame was solid, his big arms a fortress of safety.

"I know you tried," Skyfire whispered, stroking his back. "And you did find me. You saved me in the end."

"Too late," Starscream gulped. "Too fragging late to make any difference."

"It made a difference to me. Still does." Skyfire nuzzled the top of his helm. "I'm here for you now, and always will be. You know that."

"But…" Starscream pulled back, meeting his gaze, "what if I do something wrong? Something you can't forgive?"

"Such as?"

Starscream's gaze fell to the scar on Skyfire's chest. It was only the most obvious example out of many. Skyfire spared a glance at the scar, but then gathered him close again. "I have forgiven you. The real question is whether you can forgive yourself."

Starscream had no answer for that, nor did he have the strength to think of one. The storm was fading, leaving him spent, and it was easier, for now, to just settle against Skyfire and let himself be held. 

"You didn't just find me," Skyfire added, after a while. "I don't think you ever left my side in the first place. Can I show you?" A sensory data-packet arrived through the bond. "Go on," Skyfire encouraged when Starscream flinched from it. "There's nothing in there that can hurt you."

When Starscream opened it, he found himself suspended in a seemingly infinite darkness. "What…? Is this…"

"The ice," Skyfire said.

It didn't feel like being frozen. He wasn't cold, and if he was immobilized, he couldn't tell. It was like the warm, heavy paralysis that crept into his frame at the edges of sleep. He felt weightless, and strangely… held. As if something… some _one_ … was curled beside him, or possibly _inside_ him. A second consciousness that cradled his own, keeping him afloat.

"I must have woken up from time to time," Skyfire explained, tone soft. "I didn't know where I was, or what had happened to me, or how much time had passed. But you were there. It felt as if you were, and I knew everything would be okay. It was you who kept my spark lit, Starscream. Without you, I would have just drifted away."

Starscream's arms tightened in a fierce hug. "I… I miss you, Sky." Those were the only words he had left.

"I miss you too, love." A swell of sadness and regret followed as Skyfire kissed his forehelm. "I know it doesn't compare."

It didn't, Starscream thought, but maybe that was just as well. Skyfire was still so young, in so many ways. He was a reminder of how everything had been before the war, before the ice, before… everything. It was better this way. Better that he wasn't all twisted up inside, guilty of—

_No, don't think of that. Not with the bond open._

They clung together in silence for a long time. After a while, Skyfire produced a box of mesh-wipes from somewhere and began cleaning them both. Starscream thought of protesting that this was really _his_ job, but he didn't have the energy. He let his head fall to Skyfire's shoulder and relaxed into his gentle touch. It was only when Skyfire began slowly withdrawing from the bond that he tensed, glancing up.

"Sky—"

"I have to," Skyfire whispered. "We can't fall asleep like this."

He was right, of course, since they didn't want to fall into each other's dreams, but it still hurt. It felt like a loss; like the beginning of a long, bleak future in which they could be little more than enemies. As Skyfire lay down, drawing the blanket around both of them, he hummed a tune that Starscream gradually recognized. It was the ancient Seeker love ballad Skyfire had learned, just for him, before they'd even been lovers.

"Your dreams are your own," Skyfire whispered. "But my spark is yours too. Always and forever."

Starscream didn't want to think about forever, so he tucked his helm against Skyfire's shoulder and curled into him, soaking up as much warmth as he could. He'd need it. They drifted. He might have slept. Vague images of wings flitted through star-fields and nebulae, through swirling banks of cloud. Through it all, Skyfire was like an island of solid warmth, his hands a caress of sunlight against Starscream's back. A short eternity seemed to pass, ending abruptly when Skyfire's comm pinged. 

"What—?" Starscream jolted awake. "What was that, what's happening?"

"It's okay," Skyfire assured him, checking his wrist-comm as he half sat up. "It's Priya again; she's still using ground-comm. I'd better see what she wants." He opened the channel. "Skyfire here."

There was no reply, just a hiss of static. Skyfire tried a couple more times, but finally closed the channel. 

"No answer," he said, slumping back onto the berth-pad. "It must be interference from the storm."

Starscream loosed an aggravated sigh. It figured. Skyfire's allies couldn't seem to leave them in peace, even for a moment. "I suppose you're going to go charging off to see what she wants?"

Skyfire shook his helm. "Nope," he said as he rolled toward Starscream, slipping an arm around his waist to draw him close again. "Whatever's going on can wait until morning."

Well, that was something. Morning had to be imminent by now anyway, but Starscream could pretend it wasn't. He could make this intimate darkness feel like forever. As he settled his helm against Skyfire's chest and began drifting off again, he heard Skyfire whisper, "I dream about you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this excerpt from my story [Invisible Scars](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10858164/chapters/24113538). Wanna read what happens next? Click [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10858164/chapters/35499981) for the next chapter!


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